well well well...wouldn't you know... Burned at 03:40 AM **This post is in Filipino**
2008 is the year of change for me. (oo, english ito, sorry naman.) Maraming nagbago sa akin (o ayan na). Sa sobrang dami ng pagbabago hindi ko na tuloy kung ano na ba talaga ang dapat kong gawin sa buhay ko. Hindi ko na iliista dito kung ano ang mga nagbago, ang importante ay alam nyong may mga nagbago.
Pagod na ako. Sobrang pagod na ako. Andaming trial and error, wala rin namang nangyayari. Sabi nila, focus muna daw in increasing my market value; may point din naman sila dun. Nakaka-inis dahil impatient akong tao. Ayokong maniwala noon, pero totoo pala. Sobrang naging complacent ako, sobrang umasa na may mangyayaring maganda, pero wala naman akong ginagawa, so pano yun? Natanggap ko na sa sarili ko na hindi ako kabilang sa mga taong uupo lang tapos biglang may mapupulot silang P1000. On the contrary, dapat super maingat dahil baka katabi mo pa holdaper. Isang taon na lang naman ang kailangan kong hintayin. Crucial ito dahil dito natin malalaman kung goodbye na ba talaga, tatadyakan ako palabas, or mapo-promote ako. Malaking "?" yan. At dahil pagod na ako, naging mediocre na lang lahat ng mga efforts ko. Hindi na astounding yung mga results, hindi na talagang inspiring. Nagkanda leche leche na lahat. Eh pagod na ako eh. Sabi ni Jahmeel, hindi daw dapat excuse yun para makalampas ako or baliwalain na lang. Go out with a bang daw dapat hindi boot. Sige. Buti na lang at may bagong opportunity nanaman na lumabas. Shempre, lahat kami pantay pantay na dito. (Oo, may mga mas nauna nang napromote sa akin, at naiwan na ako sa level ko.) Panahon na para ingud-ngod ko silang lahat sa sahig (figuratively speaking, of course). Yun lang. Gusto ko lang magshare. Isa ito sa mga bagay na magbabago pang muli. Tapos na ang nakaraan. Wala na tayong magagawa (or to be more precise, wala na akong magagawa). Ito na ang nasa harap ko, ito na ang gagawan ko ng paraan. Panahon na para ipakita sa kanila kung ano talaga ang kaya kong gawin. Na hindi lang ako yung puñetang tatawa-tawa lang jan. Kailangan ko ito para maka-survive sa mga darating na araw, specially sa 2009.
Maintain the current plan. Keep the others on standby. Keep the rest oblivious. Only the strong will survive daw eh.
May nagyaya sa akin na lumabas and gumimik a few days ago. Hindi naman ako prepared sa mga ganun, in fact, first time ko sa mga ganung gimik. Hindi naman talaga ako pala gimik na tao eh. Bahay at mall lang ang lungga ko. Muntik pa akong hindi sumama dahil wala akong datung at wala rin akong maisusuot na appropriate para sa mga ganung lugar/event. Ayoko namang pagdating ko dun, mamatay na lang ako sa okray ng mga tao or worse, hindi baka i-ban ako dun altogether. Hindi naman nangyari yun and sumipot naman ako kahit late na. Masaya. Inom. (Panalo yung PUÑETA nila, pramis) Sayaw. May napaginteresan ako, so ginamit ko ang powers ko para mag-introduce kami. Kwento kwento sayaw sayaw. Masaya. Hiningi nya yung number ko. Nagtext pa kami hanggang sa umaga na, kahit bangag na reply pa rin. Pero habang tumatagal parang nawawala yung magic, and hindi yun nanggagaling sa side ko. Ampucha, selosa pa. Baka daw meron na ako, or baka may iba na chuva chever. Sinabi ko naman na hindi at sya talaga ang gusto ko. Okay. Tulog na.
Hindi na rin sya nagpaparamdam. A few days later, nalaman ko na lang na kakilala ko pala yung shota nya. Poocha, anlakas ng loob nyang ipa-feel sa akin na baka may pinagtataksilan ako, yun pala sya yun. Long distance relationship ang drama nila. Heh. Small world talaga. Ngayon ako naman ay nagtanong sa sarili ko...since all is fair in love and war, aagawin ko ba sya sa kanyang shota, or maghahanap na lang ako ng iba. Sayang maganda pa naman ang connection namin, pero mahirap na yung ganun. So. Ano sa tingin nyo? DISCLAIMER: Inuulit ko, nagkekwento lang ako. Hindi ako naglalabas ng sama ng loob. i'm reading...the lines on my palm i'm listening to...5ive - Keep On Moving Currently feeling...blah On Screen...Kyle XY Season 1 |
June 24, 2008
Shopping List July 2008 Burned at 10:00 AM in shopping lists It's that time of the year again and I have to replenish my stock. Here's my compilation. I dare not release this in the other blog. edit: specifics 1. USB Flashdrive 4gb [gilmore] 2. moisturizer [ biolink vco ] 3. strawberry body butter [bodyshop] 4. towels (bath and towels) [SM] 5. slippers (bedroom) [SM] 6. glutathione [Mother Earth] 7. additional RAM (512MB) [gilmore] 8. video card 256MB [gilmore] 9. iPhone 3g [ewan] That's all I could think of for now. I'll add more as I think of more. Shempre nag-aadik nanaman ako. But these are the things that I must get before July 15. Except for the iPhone which might take a longer time before I can acquire. i'm reading... i'm listening to...mock calls Currently feeling...sore On Screen...my life pass me by |
May 6, 2008
Project: Overhaul 4.2 Burned at 12:40 PM Here's an update. I do not want redo the post here, so I'll just link to it. Just click here. i'm reading...Reversible Errors i'm listening to...Toto - Africa Currently feeling...scared On Screen...House Season 3 Episode 20 |
May 2, 2008
Songing Taym Burned at 05:04 PM I dont care who this song is for originally. But this is how I feel. ----- Hanging By A Moment Lifehouse Desperate for changing Starving for truth I'm closer to where I started Chasing after you I'm falling even more in love with you Letting go of all I've held onto I'm standing here until you make me move I'm hanging by a moment here with you Forgetting all I'm lacking Completely incomplete I'll take your invitation You take all of me now... I'm falling even more in love with you Letting go of all I've held onto I'm standing here until you make me move I'm hanging by a moment here with you I'm living for the only thing I know I'm running and not quite sure where to go And I don't know what I'm diving into Just hanging by a moment here with you There's nothing else to lose There's nothing else to find There's nothing in the world That can change my mind There is nothing else There is nothing else There is nothing else Desperate for changing Starving for truth I'm closer to where I started Chasing after you.... I'm falling even more in love with you Letting go of all I've held onto I'm standing here until you make me move I'm hanging by a moment here with you I'm living for the only thing I know I'm running and not quite sure where to go And I don't know what I'm diving into Just hanging by a moment here with you Just hanging by a moment (here with you) Hanging by a moment (here with you) Hanging by a moment here with you i'm reading...Vampire: Dark Ages i'm listening to...Lifehouse - Hanging By A Moment Currently feeling...relieved On Screen...House: Season 3 |
March 18, 2008
Songing Taym Burned at 05:39 AM Anyone Of Us Gareth Gates I’ve been letting you down, down Girl I know I’ve been such a fool Giving in to temptation When I should’ve played it cool The situation got out of hand I hope you understand [chorus] It can happen to.. Anyone of us, anyone you think of Anyone can fall Anyone can hurt someone they love Hearts will break ’cause I made a stupid mistake It can happen to.. Anyone of us, say you will forgive me Anyone can fail Say you will believe me I can’t take my heart will break ’cause I made a stupid mistake A stupid mistake She was kind of exciting A little crazy I should’ve known She must have altered my senses ’cause I offered to walk her home The situation got out of hand I hope you understand [chorus] A stupid mistake She means nothing to me (nothing to me) I swear every word is true Don’t wanna lose you ------ Dumaan ako sa Ministop kanina and na LSS ako. Pakshet. So to get it out of my system, I needed to post it. hehe i'm reading...FR3.5 Champions of Ruin i'm listening to...Gareth Gates - Anyone Of Us Currently feeling...half in love On Screen...students creating trouble tickets |
March 18, 2008
Songing Taym Burned at 05:37 AM Never Let Her Slip Away Andrew Gold I talked to my baby on the telephone Long distance I never would've guessed I could miss someone so bad I really only met her 'bout a week ago But it doesn't seem to matter to my heart I know that I love her I'm hoping that I never recover 'Cause she's good for me And it would really make me happy To never let her slip away I feel like a kid with a teenage crush On a school date I feel like the lead in "Romeo & Juliet" I'm a little bit dizzy I'm a little bit scared I guess I never felt this much aware That I'd love her I'm hoping that I'll never recover Cause she's good for me And it would really make me happy To never let her slip away I really only met her 'bout a week ago But it doesn't seem to matter to my heart I know that I love her I'm hoping that I never recover 'Cause she's good for me And it would really make me happy To never let her slip away Mmmmmm I love her I'm hoping that I never recover 'Cause she's good for me And it would really make me happy To never let her slip away Oh I know it's gonna make me happy To never let her slip away ------ I seem to have always liked old songs that had a nice beat and good simple lyrics. I think at times it's the best expression of your affection. Simple and sweet. Anyway, since I can only express emotions properly through songs, this is my song of the day. i'm reading...D&D3.5 Tome of Magic i'm listening to...No Surf calls Currently feeling...sakto On Screen...Queer Eye |
March 14, 2008
Songing Taym Burned at 07:18 AM There's no actual lyrics to this song but this is the song that I have been looking for my whole life and finally I was able to find it. Here ya go. Richard Clayderman i'm reading... i'm listening to...Richard Clayderman - Ballade Pour Adeline Currently feeling... On Screen... |
February 28, 2008
you guys have got to see this Burned at 07:43 AM Grabe. Halos mamatay ako sa kakatawa nung nakita ko to. In fairness, pinalabas din naman to sa Daily 10 show. Grabe. With so much drama in the world, we need more comedy. i'm reading... i'm listening to...The Fray - How To Save A Life Currently feeling... On Screen... |
February 28, 2008
Songing Taym Burned at 07:40 AM Kung hindi ako nagpagupit ganito na sana ako...pakshet. Anyway, past is past...saka na lang 'pag nagbago na uli ang ihip ng hangin. This song is good...may bitterness pero ok lang. hahaha ----------- Let U Go Ashley Parker Angel Broken promises But you don't really mind It's not the first time and you know it Don't you know Tell me why it is you only smile inside But when you break me into nothing Don't you know It's not like I haven't tried over and over again Stupid fights, wrong or right Goodbye [Chorus:] I remember when you came with me that night We said forever, that you would never let me go But here I am again With nothing left inside Know I don't wanna But I gotta let you go You're the one mistake I really didn't mind So beautiful, unmerciful It took me down Too little and too late See now I know your kind You fake it easy just to please me Don't you know It's not like we haven't tried over and over again Sleepless nights, wrong or right Goodbye I remember when you came with me that night We said forever, that you would never let me go But here I am again With nothing left inside Know I don't wanna But I gotta let you go I gotta let you go It's you There's nothing I can do I remember when you came with me that night We said forever, that you would never let me go But here I am again With nothing left inside Know I don't wanna But I gotta let you go i'm reading... i'm listening to...Ashley Parker Angel - Let U Go Currently feeling...impatient On Screen...the Monster File |
